Harder Than Usual
by NotFlyingWithOtters
Summary: It's been forever since I wrote CSI fanfiction. A slightly fluffy/mostly angsty one-shot. Catherine and Nick shipping after a case hits Catherine harder than usual


**One weird little one shot that popped into my head after watching the episode where Catherine gets attacked by a suspect on location. Yeah it's random but I did have fun writing it because it was interesting, more so than some of the other stuff I've bee writing recently. It ends abruptly and I'm sorry but I ran out of inspiration. Merry Christmas all (:  
**

It was just an ordinary case; just something that anyone could deal with, anyone would be able to process. Catherine had finished the work for the case beforehand and now it was just interrogating the suspect to go. She closed her eyes for a moment; it was not normal that a case would affect her this way, for it to hit her so close or so hard. She leaned her back against the wall and held the case files close to her chest for a second, her eyes blurring the words on the front of the file. The images flashed in her mind as she bravely attempted to shut it out, her fingers scrabbling for a hold on the files as they spewed from her arms and cascaded onto the floor, a few papers flying in the air and then slowly drifted back down to Earth. Grissom turned the corner and saw her, dropping to one knee and scraping them all in a pile as he reached them and handing them to her.

'Catherine, are you okay?' She snapped herself back into reality with a forced smile and took the files, only the tenseness in her fingers showing how wired up she really was.

'Yeah. Of course. I'm fine.' He looked at her strangely over the top of his glasses, but let the matter rest. Catherine turned and placed her hand on the smoked glass door of the interview room where Nick was already waiting and pushed it open with a practiced movement of her hips. Nick nodded at her as she entered and they took a few moments to reacquaint themselves with the case, not that Catherine needed reminding. There was only a slight tremor in her movements, but Nick noticed and placed his hand on hers, not so that the suspect just entering could see. Catherine seemed to freeze for a second but Nick leapt into action before the suspect had a chance to notice. The whole interview just passed in a blur, Catherine, usually the one who dissected the witness' statements now silently sat in the corner, every now and again handing Nick a relevant piece of information from the files.

It was only when the suspect said something that made her blood boil did she silently stand up and walk out. She heard Nick call her name but kept on walking, her mind running over and over the case. She felt the familiar lurch as the image of the dead girl rose in her mind. She looked so much like Lindsay it was unreal, and it hurt the inside of her chest where her heart was. She walked without conscious thought until she reached the locker room, where she leaned her head against the cool metal door of hers with a quiet thud that stopped abruptly. There were footsteps in the corridor behind her and she turned her body so that the pillar that held up the center of the room was hiding her from sight.

'Catherine? Catherine talk to me… it's Nick.' He added his name as though it were an afterthought, though Catherine had worked it out long before by the faint trace of a Texan drawl that lingered in his voice. It was a voice she knew, loved and trusted, but right now, she wanted nothing more than to be on her own. As Nick entered, she made a carefully calculated move and went where he couldn't see her; on the other side of the pillar. She took a deep breath in and walked swiftly out of the room towards the reception area and the sunshine outside. Her hand was shaking by the time she reached her car and pulled herself inside, unable to stop twitching on the hot plastic of the steering wheel.

She started her engine and pulled the car, growling slightly, out of the Police Department car park and onto the road. Being native to Las Vegas, she knew the quickest way out of the city and into the wild, blank rock faces that surrounded the desert beyond the city, encompassing them all. After driving away from the lights for about fifteen minutes, Catherine reached an empty stretch of dark highway and pulled over, opening the door and stumbling out into the dark, sitting down on a russet colored rock that was only that dark because of the night. There was a very slight breeze, so much that it barely ruffled her hair as the stages of the case rolled through her mind.

_Part one: Got a call on a dead body in a residential area. The kid looked like Lindsay. It hurt to see that._

'Compartmentalize Catherine…' She whispered to herself.

_Part two: It was a sex crime, still reeling from the similarities between Lindsay and this poor girl._

_Part three: Got the identity… Linda…_

Catherine paused to wipe the idea of Lindsay lying in that morgue, her eyes closed under the harsh lights that Doc Robbins would shine on her pale skin, illuminating the deep bruises that had been so bright on the young girls collarbone.

_Part four: Suspect number one, interrogation today; thank God Nick was there to help me. But I walked out. I choked._

Catherine worried the necklace she was wearing around her neck, the silver cross on the chain digging in slightly to her fingertips, but she hardly felt it. She took her hands away from her neck and tucked them into the pockets of her short jacket, the cool desert air coating her in a protective shield. Her back was to the road, so when a hand was placed on her shoulder she spun round and drew her gun in one fluid motion, already aiming at the forehead of her would-be assailant. Nick raised his hands in mock surrender, only lowering them when Catherine stuffed her gun, safety back on, into her back pocket.

'Nick?' Her voice was husky and Nick felt his heart flutter a little for her.

'Cath… you walked out on me, what happened in there?' Catherine looked down at the ground, the soft red dust under her feet rolling over in the gentle wind.

'That kid… looked like Lindsay, Nick.' Nick crouched down on the ground, his broad stature making him on the same level as her sat on the boulder, legs folded over one another. 'I just can't get the image of that girl being Lindsay out of my head because it could so easily have been her.' Nick Placed his hand flat on her knee and she jolted turned her head round the face him with a startled expression on her face.

'Lindsay's safe Cath. She's at university and away from here, she's fine.' Catherine smiled and looked down at Nick's hand resting gently on her knee, the soft pressure and warmth calming her shattered nerves for a moment.

'I know I was just… overreacting. How did you find me?' She stood up, Nick toppling slightly and then standing up, dusting down his jeans with the palms of his hands.

'Well I knew you'd go out of town, you always do when you're upset and similarly I also knew you wouldn't have gone far.' Catherine sighed softly.

'Damn.' Nick snorted out a laugh, conscious of the close proximity between them, and then was instantly silent again, as though disturbing the air would ruin the tenuous bond that had formed between them as co-workers in that moment.

'Are you okay?' It was a question he should have asked before, something he should have asked the moment he arrived and saw her sat on her own, completely huddled over on herself. She turned and smiled at him, her eyes remaining cold and empty.

'You know what Nicky? I've had better days.' Nick nodded, his dark eyes flashing towards her as she turned away and swung herself into her car. Nick waited, tapping his foot on the ground and looking sheepishly away from her gaze.

'Could I have a lift?' He muttered, feeling vaguely annoyed at himself.

'How did you get here?' Her voice was incredulous and rose slightly in pitch.

'Got a lift from highway patrol, course I'd have to walk back if you won't let me hitch a lift.' Catherine observed him and then opened the passenger door.

'Welcome aboard.' It was a thin veil of humor but he laughed at it anyway, the night air oppressive and full of tension that hung over them.

'Isn't Lindsay going to be home for Christmas break soon?'

'Tomorrow.' The desert was flying past them at breakneck speed now, and the lights of Vegas were rushing to meet them. Catherine had her hands tight on the steering wheel, the thick band of plastic almost digging into her palm with the amount of pressure she was exerting on it.

'That's good right?' Catherine turned to the sound of his voice and a half-smile crossed her lips.

'I guess it is Nick.' Nick fell silent as they entered Las Vegas, his eyes scanning Catherine's profile and the way she held herself. She seemed less spirited than usual and her shoulders sagged slightly as though the weight of the world rested on them.

'Cath are you sure you're gonna be okay?' Catherine turned her face to him and he was surprised to see that she had hardly any composure when usually she was the one that never cracked under pressure.

'Yeah, once I see Lindsay and see she's okay I should be fine.' They had pulled up outside Nick's place now and Catherine left the engine idling as he stepped out.

'See you later then…' Catherine didn't seem to notice his apprehension and reluctance to leave until she turned around and he was still standing there.

'Nick why are you still here?' He shook his head, clearing it.

'I was just… I'm not convinced you won't self-destruct.'

'Have you ever known me self-destruct, Nick? I'm not Sara.' Nick felt a flush rise.

'Sorry, I was just worried about you.' He turned and stalked down his path towards his house, unlocking the door and sliding inside without a backwards glance. Catherine sat in her car, one hand rising to brush a strand of her silky golden hair out of her face, watching his house, the lights going on as he moved around. She made an instant decision and then cut the engine, strolling carefully up the path. Her hand had barely made contact with the door when he opened it, eyes widening in shock.

'Nick I… I just wanted to say thanks. For caring. I know I-' Her voice stopped abruptly as Nick pulled her into a rough hug. She relaxed against him after a few seconds and found her arms going around him to mirror his. They stood together, arms around each other on Nick's doorstep for a long while.

'Cath, I'll always be here for you. Forever.' Catherine sighed and let him hold her for the few moments when she was at her weakest.

'Thank you.' She stepped back but Nick stepped forwards and she didn't push him off as he kissed her forehead lightly.

'Always Cath, remember that.' She shrugged her shoulders and then leaned up to meet his lips with her own. He responded and after a few precious seconds they were apart again, but their bodies were closer than before.

'I will.'

**If you got that far please review because it makes me happy (:**


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